Post by mon1018 on Dec 4, 2007 23:24:08 GMT -5
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
This ones for Chuck
Two men went to visit a friend at his farm. After a while of showing his friend around they seen a sheep stuck in a fence by his head. He turned to his friends and said hey check this out. He pulled down his pants and procedded to go at it with the sheep. When he was done he turned to his friends and asked if they wanted a turn. The first friend turned him down. The other said " Well, hell yeah." So he went over to the fence pulled down his pants and stuck his head in the fence.
Men are like a deck of cards...
You need a Heart to love them;
a Diamond to marry them;
a Club to batter them;
and a Spade to bury the bastards
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another Man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery
There were two Amish women walking in a potato field one day. One of them looks down at a potato and says to the other, "That potato right there reminds me of my husbands nuts"
The Other woman (shocked) responds:
"My God your husbands nuts are that big"
The first woman responds, "Nope they're that dirty"
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
This ones for Chuck
Two men went to visit a friend at his farm. After a while of showing his friend around they seen a sheep stuck in a fence by his head. He turned to his friends and said hey check this out. He pulled down his pants and procedded to go at it with the sheep. When he was done he turned to his friends and asked if they wanted a turn. The first friend turned him down. The other said " Well, hell yeah." So he went over to the fence pulled down his pants and stuck his head in the fence.
Men are like a deck of cards...
You need a Heart to love them;
a Diamond to marry them;
a Club to batter them;
and a Spade to bury the bastards
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another Man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery
There were two Amish women walking in a potato field one day. One of them looks down at a potato and says to the other, "That potato right there reminds me of my husbands nuts"
The Other woman (shocked) responds:
"My God your husbands nuts are that big"
The first woman responds, "Nope they're that dirty"